It's a Jungle Out There

This is a photo of our “green space” in Texas. The yard isn’t very big, but we’re thinking of naming it Heinz Acres, since it accommodates at least 47 varieties of indigenous fauna—only one of which even remotely resembles what you could call lawn grass.

According to a guy at the nearest Home Depot whose name tag proclaims him a Master Gardener, the 60 dollars’ worth of product he sold us to lay down according to a rather complicated application schedule should do the trick in taming this overgrowth wasteland of ours. But if anyone out there can offer hints about gardening in the southern climes, we’d sure appreciate hearing them. (Locals call the clay soil hereabouts “gumbo.” Anyone with no allegiance to the area calls it “impossible.”)

And speaking of Home Depot, but in a completely unrelated vein, here’s a handy tip for wives who occasionally find themselves staring vacantly at mile-high racks of lumber while their husbands meticulously sort through the bins for that perfect four-by-eight: Three laps around the outer circumference of a full-sized Home Depot is equal to a mile walked. (And yes, I actually counted out the paces. Don’t mock.)

Several of these circuits, completed at a brisk pace, and you can easily get a mini-workout ticked off your to-do list while dear hubby is engrossed in researching the latest Ryobi drill offerings. Now, everybody goes home happy . . . not a claim I can normally make after 45 minutes of following my beloved down interminable aisles stocked with guy-gizmos and hardware.

Felicitous fall foliage prep and happy hiking to all.