Sue Anne Kirkham

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The Good, the Bad, and the Blissful Balance

With a death grip on the steering wheel, I scan the landscape for maniacs and barreling 18-wheelers. Venturing into the fast lane always proves mildly terrifying for the first few minutes. I’ve become a freeway wimp.

Yesterday brought another of those infrequent occasions when a cross-town commitment took me onto a confusing stretch of I-35W. I was just settling into the hectic pace, relaxing enough to breathe again, when a sporty little Nissan pulled a high-speed, three-lane crossover. Brake lights flared like a gaudy Christmas display as the driver came dangerously close to clipping multiple fenders.

I may have overreacted just a bit. I gasped. My eyes bulged. My jaw dropped. My heart raced. Not knowing the perpetrator's name, I conjured up a number of substitute names for him in my head. Pretty sure my response lasted longer than the errant driver's stunt did. My next impulse was to blurt out: I hate freeways! They're full of inconsiderate jerks!

Then, in an uncharacteristic surge of maturity and reason under pressure, I heard myself say, Wait a minute. Is that really accurate? Let's calmly assess the ratio of reckless speed demons to rational folks, who actually pace themselves to accommodate entrances and exits and patiently signal their intended movements.

Amazingly, my body relaxed, my mind calmed, and a crooked smile took over my face. This led to a lengthy philosophical discussion among those voices in my head. (Admit it; you have them, too.) It was yet another step forward in my quest to maintain serenity in a highly disquieting world.

I'm slowly teaching myself to refocus; to step back and ask the right questions. But there are helpful reinforcements online, too. The folks at successminded.com list these benefits of training your brain to see the good:

An overall feeling of satisfaction with life. [When good and bad are put in balance, contentment becomes possible.]

Better stress management. [Less stress, less depression and anxiety.]

Improved relationships. [Positive folks uplift those around them.]

Improved physical health. [Blood pressure, sleep patterns, energy levels.]

And is there a positivity to-do list? Yup. According to the same website, seeing the good is a key element in self-improvement, and it's undergirded by some pretty basic behaviors.

Practicing gratitude helps us challenge negative thoughts. Daily prayer is a good place to start, and tuning in to where our minds tend to drift keeps us alert to harmful mental habits.

Being mindful of what's happening in the moment provides rest for our busy brains and keeps us rooted in the here and now. If we're constantly distracted by worrisome thoughts, we're likely to miss that smiling baby in front of us at the grocery store.

Since optimism is infectious, spending time with positive people has multiple benefits. It's a bit of self-care which we can pay forward through service to others, and it often leads to laughter, which in turn pumps health-enhancing bliss hormones throughout our systems.

So that's my plan for today. What does your to-do list look like?