Brian and Ellen's Story: Part II
Baby Brian was the first of two children born into a middleclass family living in a Minneapolis suburb. By age two, he hadn't developed as expected. Doctors speculated that an umbilical cord accident might have disrupted the flow of oxygen to the motor control centers of his brain for a few critical moments at birth.
Brian's mother admits to indulging in "one good cry" when she first heard the diagnosis of moderate-to-severe cerebral palsy—a condition that would leave her son unable to walk and likely affect his speech. And then she got on with the business of raising her children.
Confined to a wheelchair, his labored speech belying an IQ well above-average, Brian was bussed to preschool at Courage Rehabilitation and Resource Center with no particular sense of being alienated from the neighborhood children. This was an opportunity to have fun in a group setting, a supreme adventure! He recalls, "I was just excited about the idea of getting on a bus and traveling across town."
Kindergarten and first grade introduced Brian to non-adapted classroom settings, where he wasn't able to keep up physically with his male classmates. By fourth grade he had only a few friends, all girls. Temperate and logical, he had already accepted that "things are the way they are."
But Brian's beyond-his-years maturity couldn't shield him from the pain when former friends turned against him in a taunting campaign as they neared junior high school. Apparently it was no longer cool to be friends with the "disabled kid."
In High School, Brian went on to demonstrate abilities he didn't know he had: He was captain of an adapted floor hockey team and a State Championship soccer team. Still, the scars from those earlier betrayals were long in healing, the hurt difficult to forgive.
And somewhere within, he also longed for a kindred spirit, and a sense of connection.
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It is spring of 1992. Ellen has enrolled at a local junior college, laying the groundwork for a teaching degree. Brian has chosen the same path in pursuit of a generalist degree, and the lunchroom on campus provides a social Petri dish in which the Master Matchmaker cultures the growth of romantic interest.
It was extrovert Ellen who first saw the spark of personality that attracted her across the room toward Brian, where he sat with a group of friends. From those casual beginnings, their relationship grew over the next several years as they completed their Bachelor's degrees—Brian's in computer science, Ellen's in teaching.
It was time to begin planning a future together. Based on shared love, faith, and empathy for each other's struggles, these two who had come into the world so far apart merged their lives in marriage in the summer of 1997. Brian soon settled into a computer analyst position and Ellen earned her teaching endorsement. Then, in late 2000, they unwittingly climbed aboard an emotional roller-coaster that would hold them captive to a long ride.
Coming Soon: Brian and Ellen's Story – Part III