Brian and Ellen's Story: Part III

It all started with an astounding bit of good news: Ellen was pregnant. But no sooner had she and Brian named little Jase than they had to say goodbye to him, after ten weeks of gestation. Before long, the hopeful couple again announced a pregnancy to their respective families, only to lose little Alan to stillbirth in January 2002. "This was a really rough time," says Brian. "And then it got worse."

Ellen suffered one more very early miscarriage before learning once again that she was expecting. The doctors weren't optimistic. Wary but happy, she and Brian took every possible precaution. Then, following a 21-week pregnancy, they suffered a parent's greatest heartbreak as they cradled little Seth for his 90 minutes of life before releasing him back to his Heavenly Father.

This tragic history of loss had also taken a toll on Ellen's physical health. "There was a time when we just put the whole issue of children on hold," she says. When the yearnings resurfaced in February of 2003, she sat down at her computer and typed adoptuskids.org into the search engine.

A special needs child seemed a perfect choice for them. “We know just a little bit about that subject," Brain says, positioning his thumb and forefinger a half-inch apart for emphasis. They also knew several special needs peers who had been raised in foster care, and they wanted to spare another child that future.

Enter Isaiah. Seeing a video of the six-year-old at a pre-adoption session, Brian was flooded with paternal feelings. Agency representatives bombarded them with the harsh realities of raising a child with multiple disabilities, "flat-out trying to scare us," he recalls. But the couple's hearts had been irrevocably touched and they felt equipped to hurdle the stumbling blocks. After all, they both knew "just a little bit about that subject," too.

Certainly, Isaiah's personal obstacles are many. Born to developmentally-delayed, drug-abusing teenage parents, he struggled to thrive and showed signs of infantile autism. Later, cerebral palsy, asthma, seasonal affective disorder, bi-polar disorder, and ADHD surfaced.

But now, after four foster home placements and two disrupted adoptions, little Isaiah Jermaine Edward would finally find a permanent home with loving, committed parents. Thanks to special education programs, medication, dietary supplements, and behavioral therapy, he would finally have a real chance at life, as well.

This should be the happy ending to Brian and Ellen's story. Alas, this couple who had already weathered many storms were in for a few more. Squall number one, a diagnosis of breast cancer for Ellen in January of 2007. Isaiah's routine and the family's peace of mind were disrupted dramatically by Mom's temporary decline, as five months of radiation therapy drained her—physically, emotionally, mentally. Sustained by an abundance of prayer and support from employers, family, and friends, they exhaled in relief with the end of successful treatment the following spring.

But breathless relief is a fragile thing. Six months later, Ellen experienced an ugly sort of déjà vu: a second cancerous lump now threatened from the other side of her body. She faced another five months of grueling treatment—only this time it came pre-loaded with the dread of knowing what was in store. Once again, they leaned on God and each other, and tackled the tribulation as a united front.

*Looking back, Brian and Ellen recount the blessings and gifts in each recollected hardship: their physical trials led them to each other; the troubled pregnancies prompted Brian to learn to drive; Ellen's cancer treatment resulted in Brian's being able to work from home; Isaiah's challenges have led them to helpful discoveries about special needs children.

And their greatest joys come from small things that others might take for granted. "Isaiah is learning to sign and he actually initiated the table prayer himself a few weeks ago," Ellen says with a parent's pleased smile. "That was really neat."

Another thing that's really neat? When the story's main characters create their own happy endings, despite the daunting plot twists they face every day.

*Originally published in 2009.

Next week: Brian and Ellen Today—An Epilogue