Compared to What?!
"I'm not sure how we're supposed to be feeling at [our age]." That was a friend's reply to a recent check-in text in which I asked the lame old question, How're you doing? First, I chuckled, but then I got to thinking about her frank remarks on life-after-youth.
Most of us find ourselves dealing with a few new health issues after retirement. If we're lucky, it's only life-altering stuff, not life-threatening. Maybe some joint issues that affect our movements in new and mysterious ways. Or a pricy prescription that has us seriously considering Tom Selleck's reverse mortgage pitches. Or maybe we just feel like the bounce in our step has been replaced by arch support inserts.
We're told that "outlook is everything" in getting past the Old Person self-image. Once we realize that our quality of life is at stake, making the most of each day becomes a top priority for many.
My personal observation about attitude? Initiate a new perspective to fit today's reality. I never feel like getting up and getting going until I . . . get up and get going! My step one, stand up—oomph or no oomph. My step two, slip in an early rock and roll CD to rev the engine. (Nobody's gonna vacuum and dust, haul in those groceries, or whip up dinner unless I do. And I am not a fan of starvation diets.)
After a certain age, there is also the brain health issue to attend to. But attend to is probably an odd choice of words here, since paying attention in the moment is a major challenge. I do loads of mental acuity activities. Crossword puzzles, wordle, quordle, octordle, vocabulary quizzes, Jeopardy!, Wheel of Fortune. Yet, for the life of me, I can't remember where I laid my phone or glasses down last unless I narrate my actions out loud. Repeatedly. As for gremlins who hide refrigerator items in plain sight? Don't get me started.
Is there a definitive answer to how we "should feel" in our later years? Probably not. People approach aging from lots of different angles. Some of us push ourselves, striving for optimum as opposed to average. Others are willing to make friends with low energy levels and sore joints, opting for the rocking chair over the treadmill, with the forgone presumption of nursing home care at some point. And we all know people who just get lucky and thrive in spite of advancing years and not-so-stellar habits, like the 100-year-old woman who credits her longevity to eating bacon every day.
Who stands out among us? Those admirable souls who graciously acknowledge their “used to could” status, but still make efforts to curtail the worst effects of aging. Who serenely accept the things they cannot change, yet work to maintain the rest—thankful for what they haven't lost.
That's who I want to be when I grow up.